I Love You

I was told to feel, to remember...to breathe him in...again...again...again. Always, just one more time.

This kind of love never...ever...let's go. It's always with you. Breathe...again...again...again.

Oh wayward eyes, the heart is wiser than you. You wander here and there; attachments...lust or love? It's the magic in his eyes that re-directs my heart to home...always...again. Again? yes, again. And again. And again. My heart loves him, and only him. Make no mistake, eyes. He is my home. Forevermore.

I need him...I...need...him. Like I need air to breathe. I need him...coursing through my veins. He is my life's blood. Always has been. Always will be. The lust of the eyes is nothing. His heart beats within me. Eyes, be damned!

Years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds pass...all unceremoniously...all moments spent without you. You whisper to me, 'how has loneliness crept into your soul when I've been right here in your heart all along', and the truth is that I am no longer consoled by the ghost of love. I need your form. I need your substance. I need the flesh and blood YOU. I need more than whispers in my soul, and your presence all-encompassing me. I need the real, live, breathing YOU.

But nevermind me...I'll just forever be standing here at the edge of eternity...waiting...for you. Isn't that what love would do?

At a loss for words...love is caught...in my throat; no amount of words could fix the betrayed look in your eyes, or make it right. But I'll try...I'll try.

I will never give up trying to make it up to you...never. Sometimes, I am quite inexcusable in your eyes, and sometimes, I do things all wrong, but I love you. I swear, I love you.

You have done nothing wrong, my love. It is all my fault. I never meant to hurt you. I never would. I'd die first. You are my life, my whole world, my everything. My heart knows this.

This distance I feel in my soul between you and I, it is my fault, but I miss you, and I would do anything to bridge this chasm between us.

I'm not sure of much anymore, but I do know I love you. That's all I know for sure. I want you back. I need you...your presence, your essence, your love, your vibrations, your heart, your soul, whatever part of you that you would grant to me.

I've been selfish, my love, my king...please...forgive me? please?

Your silence is killing me...

He is pure, unadulterated magic; straight, with no chaser.

His eyes made love to me long before his hands ever touched me...

Every letter of his name...burned into my soul and my flesh; the mark of love, in the shade of blue flame.

Normally, I'd say it's his eyes that enslave me, but it is the soul behind those eyes that has slain me.

Love, for me, is dances in the rain, putting popcorn down the back of your shirt, hiding and scaring you, and being there to dry your tears.

Love, for me, is talking about everything & nothing; a makeshift tent, old movies; remembering together; being together. For me, love is you.

And, somehow, you thought 'death' could make me forget you.

In the dark night of my soul, you are my moon. I love you.

I can no longer think of him as just a man. No. He is a place, and that place is love.

Let love extinguish me...

I love you in ways that you can't begin to understand...in ways even I never imagined.

You have turned my whole life into a beautiful song...one that can never be complete without you.

I love you so much that I'd grow you a whole field of sunflowers just so I could watch your eyes dance and the smile of all smiles light up your face...

Love is as love does...

Enveloped in the mystery of him...wrapped up in memories, too entangled to ever forget; you.

He is the one for whom I would re-write history because any story of mine that did not include him must assuredly be re-written.

Oh, to be haunted by love...and ghosts of what could have, or should have, been; you.

His voice...that voice...whispering, speaking, singing himself into every reality I've ever known.

Me...trying desperately to reach through time and space...to bring him back...to me.

The words from my heart...rise...escaping between parched lips, riding the wind, finding their mark inside your heart...

Telepathic lovers; invisible...you...

I don't care who you were, or what you think you are now. All I know is that I love you.

Love sees you, wherever you are, and it calls to you.

Not so easy to forget; me.

Invisible cords that bind; timeless bonds; I am yours...and you...are mine.

Love...has found me, and having looked into his eyes, all excuses disappear.

I asked Love, 'Why did you come'? and he whispered, 'I had no choice...come to me'.

And Heaven, help me...I always melt at the sound of his voice.

His skillful fingers...fine-tuning me, pulling the strings of my heart...drawing me...to his side.

My heart and soul belong to him...eternally.

Somehow, I must...I must...go to him. Don't ask me how...Love...will lead the way; trust love. I do.

And when I find him (and I will), I will fall at his feet as a dead woman...and my heart, nor my body, shall arise, except he lift me.

My love...my king...how I long for you...my soul and my God are my witness. I will find you.

When I close my eyes, the miles between us disappear.

That road to you, winding its way around my heart...pulling my soul...opening into the unknown.

Your gilded gates call to me...and my soul, recognizing your presence just on the other side...waiting...how will I restrain myself from coming to you?

Not even death can keep me from you, and be assured that even then, my ghost would forever be by your side...loving you...

For years, my soul has wandered the halls of that house...searching...calling out to you...

Whispers...in the corners of your mind, haunting every cell of your being; I know, because you have done the same to me.

That road...less traveled...must lead to you, and I am on my way; I'll come to you...

Come...lay down with me, my love...let me speak to your troubled soul. Let me reassure you...that I am yours, and only yours.

Put your hand in mine...and as our fingers entwine, I will rest my soul upon yours, and I will calm all your doubts about me.

Soon...very soon, my love...all will be more clear, and there will be no more reasons for you to ever shed another tear.

Be still...as I rest my love upon you. Let me put your mind at ease. Let me soothe your heart. You don't have to worry about me. I will always be near.

Just be still, my love...be still...no more tears...please, no more tears. Trust...me.

Don't give up on me. Don't give up on us. You said you will come to me. Let me meet you halfway...

I love you. Did you hear me? I said I love you. Now, you have to trust me.

One day, one day very soon, our souls will collide on that road you love so much, and there may be nothing left of us; I'll race you!

Chasing a ghost...re-imagining the past.

I love you like there is no tomorrow, and like there were no yesterdays before this today.

He pulled loose the strings of my imagination, and out poured my passion; inhibitions eradicated.

Surrender...

Your name...has never been just a name, but a prayer, and a chant, upon these parched lips...

My Heart...

I wish today I could sit with Michael, watch a movie, eat popcorn together, play with him.

Just be near him. We'd eat fried chicken, lick our fingers, laugh, talk, hug, act like we have an eternity, eat a piece of his favorite sweet potato pie together, have a glass of wine, talk some more, then let silence be between us, or rather not speaking vocally, but speaking together through our hearts and minds...pure communication, things which words cannot say themselves...

I'd wanna look into his eyes for hours, try and read his soul...
I want to touch him...get to know every inch of him

I'd want to hug him so tight that I could inhale the fragrance of who he is as a man, as a person, as a soul, and not just his cologne, but his spirit's essence. I want to know him beyond a doubt. Inhaling him, I'd hope to never exhale again. I'd want to keep him in my lungs.

I want to listen intently as he speaks...take in every word, every syllable, every noun, every verb...just...listen. I'd want each of his words to hit my heart like an arrow hits its mark.

And if he'd only speak my name, I'd want it to slay me. Each and every time he'd say it, I'd want the sound of his voice to pierce my soul...the tone and the frequency of his creative energy going to every part of me, every cell, every molecule of me, healing me, seeking out place in me that doubt, and that the sound of his voice would open up and destroy all of me. Destroy all my walls...all my boundaries...all my inhibitions...all my excuses...all my fear, and then capture the whole of me.

If he'd embrace me, I'd want my body, soul, and spirit to respond by melting into the creases of his elbows, penetrating his muscles and flesh, and become a part of him, so that when you see him, you see me, or when you see me, you see him.

I'd want him to look into my heart, and find an ancient carving of his name there...

Oh, how I wish he would meet me on that road...arms open, running toward me like some old black & white movie...seeing me in the distance...running to greet me...to welcome me...to recognize me from afar...to yearn for me the way I've yearned for him...to have missed me like I've missed him...I know there is danger, but I don't care...I must...meet...him.

I felt my heart say to me that she would do anything just to feel his hand brush past my skin, just so she could feel the way my blood rushes to her in his presence...

My soul knows why I love the storm so much...because it is in the thunder that I feel his heart beat only for me...and it is in the lightning strike that his presence delivers to my soul that I feel most alive...

My eyes cry for him...shedding tears of love and longing...missing the man my eyes never had the pleasure to fix themselves upon in the flesh...

I swear I'll come to him...even if it's with my last breath, and I'll never leave his side...not in this life, or if there is a next.